Emily at the Dojo (Part 3)
Yes, I skipped Part 2. Reflections, suggestions and back to being too personal
*I am a native English speaker writing about my own experiences. Sometimes I use strange words and phrases. If you are reading this through AI translation, some ideas, words, and nuances may not be correct in your language. Please ask if you have any questions.*
*Click on photos directly on the substack website to see its entirety.*
That’s right friends. Call me Luke Skywalker because this series is out of order, but there is intention and good reason. Fun fact, I’ve only seen one Star Wars movie. ANYHOOBS, just going to reflect on what I’d do differently at the beginning of this journey. Perhaps you can relate this to something you’re learning in life. The end of this post has some exciting “other updates”!
Personal Reflections
As someone who’s played taiko for over 20 years, trained under some of the best in America, and was one of the teachers for Ho Etsu and its classes, I have a big head. Even though I crave it, I struggle with taking criticism. If someone tries to offer advice on something I believe I understand, I can sometimes get (internally or outwardly) defensive. I’m human and I have an ego. UGH! I’m also human and insecure about my poor Japanese and constant fear of being judged or doing a cultural faux pas. DOUBLE UGH!
Yes, feedback is an indication that someone believes in you and they want to help you. If only I could've truly encapsulated a beginner’s mind when I first came and taken every piece of feedback, from some of the sweetest people I know, to its fullest. I enjoy learning fue and kokyu because I have no prior experience. I bask in the naivety of simply not knowing and devour the excitement of totally new information. And although my previous experience helps me pick up taiko pieces quickly, it can sometimes obstruct my ability to embrace the Tawoo way of learning.
It's not only different biomechanically, but also spiritually, and I say “spiritually” with hesitancy. It’s overused in mass media, and as words evolve overtime, I'm not confident with the definition anymore, however I don’t believe it is solely related to Western imperialized religion or something that an app can teach you. The approach to teaching, playing, performing, and just being a member of the dojo is based in the “Tawoo spirit.” This name represents the idea that we although we have different lives and paths, but because of taiko, we're able to meet and create a bigger road together that all of us can take. Kaoly san, Gocoo, and Tawoo want people to smile, laugh, relax, and dance. It's welcoming. Although there may not be a direct lineage to Edo Period, it feels like there’s a spiritual lineage that traces further back to human roots. It’s forgotten about during times of suffering, but smiling, laughing, and dancing are part of human nature and essential for community.
This is why I came to study with Kaoly san. Prior to coming to Tokyo, I had lost the joy in taiko that I once had as a high schooler, a time where I felt most like “myself” when performing on stage. As I have gotten older, I’ve gotten swept up in fears of misrepresenting taiko, bastardizing music and history that I didn’t feel I had a part in (which I'm still working on), while also having masochistic desires for perfection in performances and technique, and believing that there was only “one” acceptable way that I wanted to play taiko. I feared that this pressure I encapsulated was spreading to other members in HET or anyone else I was associated with.
So I brought my bottled up taiko anxiety to the dojo, and it initially blocked my ability to relax and open up. Perhaps that is why I cried while performing at Nezu Jinja back in October 2022, releasing my self inflicted pressure. Be it, I still have this bottled up anxiety in my pocket, but because of the sprit that the Tawoo members create, I've found fun in performing again.
So to those interested in coming to take a class or lesson, learn from my mistakes.
Don’t let “being correct” interrupt your ability to learn. Get out of your head and insecurities and let your previous experiences go. Accept everything and any feedback, but also recognize that there is meaning that can’t be explained in one class or workshop, and particularly, embrace the spirit that Kaoly san and the dedicated members are generously willing to share. In return, I hope you play with generosity and continue to share the spirit you gain from the dojo.
Spirits and Gods
I was previously talking with a dear friend about how Buddhism and Shinto are, for us, inextricably connected to taiko. In Japan, however, these aren’t commonly treated as “religion” in the American sense, but rather it’s just part of life. For every Gocoo or Tawoo performance in the countryside or nature, Kaoly san always takes us to the local shrine. In Shinto, there is a belief that everything has a spirit or god. The mountains, trees, taiko, love, all have a god or spirit. I don’t actually know what she or the other members think or pray for when we visit, however no one hesitates and in fact, we look forward to visiting these shrines. Personally, I think that we’re greeting the spirits and thanking them for allowing us to perform on their land, we will treasure the moment that have brought us here alongside the spirits, and for the safety of our return home. But, I’m not Shinto so if I’m doing it wrong, feel free to correct me.
Perhaps believing that everything has a spirit can make us think deeply to treat the littlest of things with respect and care.
Now the real question is how to continue this mindfulness in a Westernized imperial world that relies on binaries and struggles with being able to accept things for what it is. Is it possible to continue this spirituality in taiko in the American metropolis?
Other updates:
There’s some big news for Kaoly san, as she, and Eri Uchida who also heavily influences my life here, will be coming to America in August 2024 for a workshop tour through KaDON! Take a look here and be on the look out for more to come. Legit, these 2 have really influenced the way I look at taiko and the world, so keep your eyes peeled for this transformative and incredible opportunity!
The movie Finding Her Beat and the actual full concert are also now streaming and available to watch. So if you can’t come to Japan, there’s still some very exciting things you can access.
Click here for links to:
The Movie
The Concert
Oh and Food:
Unrelated to anything above, here’s a blurry photo of some delicious shortbread cookies in the cutest tin from the Hibikus Omiyage students, a monthly workshop that was led by Eri! This was a gift following the student recital. I don't discuss it often, but I was fortunate enough to assist with this monthly workshop, and I am saddened that it has come to an end. I've learned a lot from supporting that's worth a separate post, and let me just say, these cookies were killer! (If any of the students are reading this, don't hesitate to reach out to me, and congrats on a great performance!)
Stay tuned for Part 2 on actually attending a class or workshop at Tawoo Dojo!